Stress and infertility are deeply intertwined. The emotional toll infertility has on expectant parents is immensely draining. From hormonal imbalances to lifestyle factors, the impact of stress on reproductive health is complex and often underestimated. By understanding this connection, you can empower yourself to manage stress and improve both emotional resilience and the chances of getting pregnant. 

What is Stress?

The World Health Organization defines stress as worrying caused by a difficult situation. Infertility is a complex process that branches into many possible stressors. 

Some may find it difficult to accept that they cannot conceive naturally. For women, it is instinctual to want to bear children. Thus, when that biological desire is taken away, stress fills that void. Further, social expectations exist about when and how a woman gets pregnant. In modern society, many couples experience peer pressure from friends and family about trying to conceive. For example, have you heard people say, “Since you just got married, when will you start having kids?” When, in reality, you and your partner have already been trying for months. 

Also, infertility may stem from recurrent miscarriages. The Mayo Clinic states that 20% or more of pregnancies result in miscarriages. Pregnancy loss can be attributed to post-traumatic stress disorder, which leads to symptoms such as anxiety and depression.  

Furthermore, in vitro fertilization (IVF) treatment does not have a 100% guarantee the process will work. Some couples may need to endure the prescribed protocol multiple times, which can be overwhelming emotionally and financially. Additionally, the medications used to treat infertility can have unwanted side effects like anxiety, depression, and irritability.

Stress Impacting Your Mental Health

Trying to conceive can significantly impact your mental well-being. Many individuals may feel as though their bodies have let them down, and there is often worry surrounding the outcome of fertility treatments. People frequently wonder, “Will this even work?” For some women, their pregnancy journey can take years, leading to lasting stress-induced effects on both the body and mind. Common feelings people bear are shame, guilt, and low self-esteem due to their inability to conceive naturally. 

Depression/Anxiety

These overwhelming feelings can grow into more serious mental health concerns like depression, anxiety, and feeling isolated. Depression can be defined as when someone has continuous feelings of sadness and loss of interest that typically interferes with their daily life. According to recent research, depression levels in those who are going through infertility are similar to those with cancer. Where as, anxiety consists of ongoing extreme fear or worry that disrupts everyday activities. An extensive research study involving a sample of men and women at fertility clinics in Northern California indicates that 76% of women and 61% of men experience symptoms of anxiety. It is alarming that more than half of men and women express these feelings while using alternative methods to hopefully get pregnant.

Grief/Loss

Many individuals and couples hold the heartfelt dream of becoming parents. When that journey seems out of reach, it can lead to profound feelings of heartache, predominantly if a woman undergoes failed treatment(s) or miscarriage(s). This is why it is essential to recognize this emotional struggle and extend support and understanding. 

How to Cope with Stress and Infertility 

Stress is inevitable when dealing with infertility; however, how you react to it makes a significant difference in your well-being. Initially, it is important to identify stressful triggers and learn techniques to relax your body. Find outlets that work for you. Some examples you can explore are: 

• Prioritizing your health. Your lifestyle choices make a huge difference in physically preparing your body for pregnancy. While mentally keeping a level headspace will put you in a sound state of mind to tackle stress.
• Educating yourself. Join an or read self-help books/articles to enhance your understanding of infertility diagnosis and treatment. 
• Growing your support team. Venting to a close friend or family member or joining a support group allows you to express overwhelming feelings in a safe environment. 
• Openly communicate with your partner. Discuss any concerns you may have in the bedroom. Often, frequent sexual intercourse when trying to get pregnant can feel like a chore. Maybe talk about taking a break and working with one another to find what makes sex enjoyable. 
• Finding an outlet for relaxation. Journaling, listening to music, and meditation are some effective techniques that can help channel pent-up stress and release it through these activities.

If you are still struggling with a mental health crisis, discuss with your primary health provider about what you are feeling and how they can help. They may suggest taking an antidepressant or antianxiety medication to determine what’s right for you. There are treatment options that are classified as safe to use during pregnancy if you become pregnant.

Final Thoughts

Your feelings are valid, so don’t downplay them. Consult your healthcare provider if your mental health becomes unmanageable. If you or you know someone who is battling infertility, be mindful of any changes in their behavior. Most couples keep their infertility diagnosis to themselves, which is why the feelings of individuals struggling with infertility often go unnoticed. 

If you’re feeling the weight of infertility and are seeking support from others who understand your journey, The Hopeful Mama Foundation is here for you. There are in-person and virtual support groups where you can share your experiences and connect with women facing similar challenges. You don’t have to handle everything on your own. Remember to be patient with yourself and that your diagnosis doesn’t define you!