At our recent workshop, we had the privilege of welcoming Ali Maahs from No Foot Too Small, who shared about the organization’s mission and the emotions surrounding loss. Many who attended reflected afterward on how meaningful it was to hear stories of remembrance and connection.

As part of continuing that conversation, we wanted to offer a few gentle tools and reflections for those who may still be wondering how to navigate grief in everyday life. Grief is not something we move past; it is something we learn to carry. When we make space for both the grief and hope, healing begins to take root.

Understanding Grief in Infertility

Grief in infertility is layered and deeply personal. It is not only about the loss of a pregnancy or treatment cycle, but also about the loss of expectations, timelines, and the version of your story you imagined. It can come and go without warning, often showing up in quiet moments or familiar places. You may feel a mix of sadness, longing, anger, love, or even numbness…all of which are natural responses to loss.

Sometimes grief looks like tears. Other times, it looks like exhaustion, irritability, or the need to withdraw for a while. However it shows up, it deserves compassion and grace. You are allowed to feel what you feel, even if others do not understand the depth of it.

It is important to remember that grief and hope can exist together. Feeling one does not cancel out the other. There may be moments when you feel both heartbreak and gratitude, loss and love, sorrow and strength. That duality is what it means to hold both.

Practical Tools for Navigating Grief

Grief can feel unpredictable, messy, and it often will impact our body as much as in our mind. The below tools can help create moments of grounding and gentle release.

BREATHE AND GROUND
When emotions feel heavy or overwhelming, pause and notice your breath. Inhale slowly through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Feel your feet connected to the ground. You might place one hand on your heart and one on your stomach as a reminder that you are here, you are safe, and you are still whole, even in your grief.

NAME WHAT YOU FEEL 
Sometimes we do not have words for what we are feeling, and that is okay. You might sense a heaviness in your chest, a lump in your throat, or a tightness in your body that you cannot explain. Try writing down or speaking aloud whatever comes up, even if it is simply “I feel something I cannot describe.” By acknowledging the sensation or emotion, you give it permission to move through you rather than stay stuck inside.

CREATE SIMPLE RITUALS
Rituals can bring comfort and help make meaning out of loss. You might light a candle at night to honor what you are grieving, write a letter to your future self, or plant a flower as a symbol of remembrance and hope. These small acts do not erase the pain, but they create a sacred pause in which you can honor your emotions and the love behind them.

CARE FOR YOUR BODY
Grief can drain your physical energy. Give yourself permission to rest, move your body gently, nourish yourself with food and water, and get sunlight when possible. Even simple acts like taking a walk or wrapping yourself in a blanket can remind your body that it is safe to feel whatever it is feeling.

SET ASISDE A GRIEF MOMENT
Sometimes grief takes over the entire day. Choosing a small window of time, such as 10 minutes in the morning or before bed, to let yourself fully feel can bring structure and release. You might cry, journal, pray, or sit quietly. Knowing there is a time to honor your emotions can make it easier to move through the rest of the day with a bit more ease.

USE SENSORY COMFORT
Engage your senses to calm your nervous system. Wrap up in a soft blanket, sip something warm, use essential oils, or listen to a calming playlist. Sensory grounding can gently remind your body that you are cared for.

CONNECT WITH NATURE
Nature often mirrors the rhythm of grief and healing. Step outside, notice the changing light, the sound of wind or water, or the feel of grass under your feet. Spending even a few minutes in nature can bring perspective and stillness.

FINDE CREATIVE EXPRESSION
Sometimes emotions are too big for words. Try drawing, painting, music, or collage. You might create something that represents your grief or your hope. Creativity gives form to feelings that might otherwise remain unspoken.

The Power of Reflection

Reflection is a way to stay connected to yourself as you move through grief. It allows your emotions to be seen and heard rather than suppressed.

There are many forms of reflection, and it does not have to be through writing. You might record voice notes, draw, pray, or simply sit in silence and let thoughts drift through. What matters most is creating space for honesty and compassion.

If you enjoy journaling, here are some prompts to help you begin:

• What emotions are hardest for me to name right now?

• Where do I notice grief in my body?

• Where do I feel hope showing up, even in small ways?

• What does healing mean to me in this season of life?

• What do I wish others understood about my grief?

You can also try reflective practices that are more sensory, such as lighting a candle before journaling or playing soft music as you write. Creating an intentional environment helps signal to your heart that it is safe to open.

When reflecting, remember that there are no right or wrong answers. Some days you may write pages, other days only a few words. The goal is not to fix or solve, but to listen to yourself with kindness.

Opening Conversations About Grief

Talking about grief can feel uncomfortable, especially in a world that often wants to move quickly past pain. Yet sharing your experience can be one of the most healing things you do. It helps you feel less alone and invites others to meet you with empathy.

Start by choosing someone you trust such as a partner, friend, therapist, or support group. You might begin by saying:

• “I have been feeling waves of grief lately and could use someone to listen.”

• “I am still processing some loss and just need space to talk, not fix.”

• “Certain moments or reminders have been hard for me recently, and I just need to share that.”

If you are unsure where to begin, you can start by simply saying, “This is hard for me to talk about, but I want to try.” It is okay to set boundaries too, such as asking for listening instead of advice.

In relationships, honesty can build deeper understanding. You may find that others open up about their own hidden grief, creating a shared space of compassion. And if the person you hoped to talk with cannot meet you there, that does not mean your grief is too much, it means you deserve to find people who can hold it with you.

Grief Changes Over Time

Grief changes over time, but so does hope. They weave together, shaping who we become through this journey. There is no perfect way to hold both, only the invitation to keep showing up with compassion for yourself.

When you make room for both grief and hope, you make room for healing.

At Hopeful Mama, we hold this space with you.