You’re engaging with friends, laughing, and having a great time. When suddenly, the vibes shift when the conversation changes. They continue to ask the same questions over and over: Do you want to have kids someday? So, when are you going to start trying? How many do you want? Suddenly, you feel a pit in your stomach. Social gatherings start to feel stressful and emotionally draining. 

How do you explain the pressure you feel when this topic comes up, especially after trying for so long? Infertility is often a private battle made even harder by societal expectations. Let’s explore the social pressures women face with infertility and why they matter. 

The Root of the Pressure

To understand why these pressures feel so overwhelming, we need to look at where they come from. In the past, typical roles within a household involved the man working to provide for the family, while the woman stayed home to care for the children. This reinforced stereotypes that women are more nurturing and emotional than men.  

Traditional views of womanhood can be closely tied to infertility. Societal expectations can make it difficult for women not to take it personally. Some may feel that if they can’t have a child, it makes them “less of a woman.” For the record, this thought couldn’t be further from the truth! 

Today, the media continues to push the idea that motherhood is the ultimate life goal. The concept of pronatalism—the belief that everyone should have children—has been on the rise. Political actions and public policies often drive this movement to boost the economy and slow the national birth rate decline. For instance, tax incentives for families and government campaigns are some propaganda that only adds to the pressure many women already feel. 

Common Forms of Social Pressure

These cultural forces show up in everyday life in ways that can be especially painful for women facing infertility. Let’s break down some of the most common forms:

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  Invasive questions from family and friends: Whether at gatherings or during casual conversations, these questions can feel awkward and painful.

• Social media triggers: It’s a cultural norm to post pregnancy announcements and baby photos online, making it difficult for some women to watch others reach milestones they’re still hoping for.
• Religious expectations: In some religious traditions, having children is considered a duty, adding another layer of pressure. 

Together, these experiences can chip away at self-worth and emotional resilience over time. 

Emotional and Mental Health Impact

It’s not just the questions or expectations that hurt—it’s the emotional weight that builds beneath the surface. Research has shown that there is an increased risk of depression, anxiety, and feelings of isolation when facing infertility. 

Many people diagnosed with infertility struggle with self-esteem. In the era of constant media exposure, comparison is inevitable. Seeing endless sonogram pictures or a baby’s milestones can make a person feel flawed. It is common for women to blame themselves for not being able to get pregnant and wonder, What am I doing wrong? 

While women are internally battling their mental health, their external relationships may be affected as well by infertility. There could be added tension to family and friend dynamics when each individual has opinions on fertility and family planning choices. Perhaps the most deeply affected relationship is the one between you and your partner. From the pressure of scheduling sex to the emotional rollercoaster, infertility can put strain on communication, intimacy, and the overall connection in the relationship. 

Why We Need to Change the Narrative

Given how deeply infertility can impact a woman’s emotional well-being and relationships, it’s time we rethink how we define womanhood—and challenge the narrative that motherhood is a requirement. Take a moment and read this next sentence twice—or more if you need to. A woman’s worth is NOT tied to motherhood. Just because a woman needs a little more time to conceive or physically cannot bear a child does not mean she is any less of a woman. Women are so much more than their ability to reproduce. 

According to the World Health Organization, 1 in 6 adults has infertility. With this in mind, consider how many women may be silently struggling. Our society needs to step back and remember the importance of empathy, sensitivity, and redefining what success and fulfillment truly mean.

Infertility still feels like a taboo topic that many are afraid to talk about—and that needs to change. Advocating for more open conversations around infertility is the first step in reducing the stigma. In reality, most women often cope with infertility alone.

Ways to Alleviate the Pressure 

So what can be done to ease this burden—both emotionally and socially? Here are a few steps to help women navigate these pressures with more support and self-compassion. 

• Set Boundaries. Share only what feels comfortable with family and friends. It’s essential to maintain clear communication in all close relationships so that they can understand your expectations and feelings toward infertility.
• Identify Triggers. If social media content starts to impact your mental health, consider taking breaks or limiting your time on those platforms. 
• Build a support system. Open up to your partner or trusted individuals about what you’re going through and how you feel so that they can be there for you. Also, joining a support group could be beneficial. When women open up to others going through similar struggles, they often find a community of support. 
• Seek Professional Help. Talk to your healthcare provider about how to cope with an infertility diagnosis and other strategies that can improve your mental health, especially if you’re experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, or isolation. 

Final Thoughts

We’ve come a long way since the 1950s—yet some expectations still linger. The old expectations for women can be thrown out the window. Profound pressure from family, friends, and social media can deeply impact how women view themselves and their infertility journey. 

It’s important to approach this topic with compassion and empathize that every woman’s journey to motherhood is unique. You are not defined by infertility. Your story matters, and your feelings are valid. Navigating infertility can be a long and difficult journey, so be gentle with yourself along the way.